AEB, LDA, LKAS, LOLBBQ... Safety acronyms demystified

AEB, LDA, LDW, RDM, ACC... what on earth does it all mean? (Okay, you got us, 'LOLBBQ' isn't a real safety system...) All of these acronyms for the high-tech safety systems in modern cars can be confusing, especially with each vehicle manufacturer picking their own trademarkable name for features that usually fit under a broad umbrella.